“Live and Let Live” – Catharine Sedgwick
“People just need to mind their business.” – My Mother

After years of addressing it at the state level, the US Supreme Court issued a ruling this morning that individual states may not deny same-sex marriages – which I think we mostly agree can now simply be called, Marriages. The news brings happiness to many who have been unable to take advantage of the benefits of state-sanctioned marriage; but not surprisingly, it has also brought the anger out of many who feel a moral obligation to ensure that others adhere to their ways of life… at least on paper.

What’s always interesting (i.e. funny and/or aggravating) about people rallying against someone else’s preferred lifestyle are the attempts to create logical arguments to support their points of view. In the case of opposing gay/lesbian marriage, some of the arguments are downright ridiculous. Here at WOHM, we like to look at things from alternate angles… So without further ado, let’s discuss some of the common, illogical, and now legally irrelevant arguments against same-sex marriage.

#LoveWins

Comparisons to Beastiality
“So if guys can screw other guys, what’s next? Screwing animals?” is a fairly common argument that completely ignores the fact that animals are not intelligent beings that can consent to intercourse with humans. Interestingly enough, there is no federal law regulating zoophiliac behavior amongst civilians as the legal angle varies from state to state. In case you’re wondering, such behavior is not legal in the Northwest… unless you count Wyoming. Ewww…

N&KGay People Can’t Produce A Child
Well no duh… Last I checked, having children is not and has never been a prerequisite for marriage. If we were to ban marriage between people who could not have kids, it wouldn’t just stop gay people, it would stop anyone with reproductive issues. This is a really dumb argument.

The Corruption of Children
I’m actually embarrassed as a parent that people dare ask with straight faces how they are to respond when their child sees a same-sex couple kissing or whatnot. Listen… Gay folks have been kissing for years, so this has nothing to do with marriage equality at all whatsoever. Get over it and act like a parent. Explain to your children that people are different in many ways. Stop raising idiots.

The Sanctity of Marriage
If you’ve ever been married, you’ll understand that marriage is no sanctuary! A lot of marriages suck, many lack exclusivity (whether agreed upon or otherwise) an people also have the long-standing right to divorce. So what are we really protecting here? Oh…

The Word Of GOD
It is almost comical to watch conservatives like Bobby Jindal spin on their toes and announce that they uphold the laws of God over the laws of the land when they have chosen to be agents of the state. As a Muslim I have nothing but respect for those with faith in a higher being, but let’s stop trying to subvert the world to our ways. We can have our freedoms and allow others theirs as well.

#TeamJesus

A photo posted by @saraiv__ on

 

Obama
Some people hate Obama so much that they actually oppose anything he does, regardless of how much sense it makes. How dare people have healthcare? How dare we allow immigrants with citizen children to stay in the country? How dare we allows gays to get marriage licenses? Sheesh, it must be hard work being that racist within a closet.

Awkward Feelings
As a Black person, this really drives me nuts. I know it’s awkward to meet someone different for the first time, but that doesn’t mean that it should be illegal for them to be different. Further, people will be gay whether they marry or not. If you’re seriously confused when a woman talks about her wife, I’m going to need for you to get out of the house more. On second thought, maybe you should stay home.

 Gay2It’s Gross!
Does it make me cringe a bit to see two men slobbing each other down? Yes. What about two women? Not if they are hot. Well guess what… as a straight man, I don’t think any men are hot, and when I really think about it, any two unattractive people kissing would turn me off. As humans with the ability to think critically, we’ve got to be able to override the proverbial gut check at times. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Maybe it’s just not for you.

It’s Unnatural
So is Orange Fanta but I love it! No seriously though, can we define unnatural? This lane of thinking is not only hypocritical but also defies science as we all (should) know by now that homosexuality is not a convention unique to humans and can be found in wild animals as well. And what’s more natural than wild animals?

STDs Will Increase
While it’s true that rates of various communicable diseases increase in homosexual male populations, allowing these at-risk communities the benefits of marriage should actually decrease those rates as access to healthcare would increase. Also, the possibility of marriage will likely curb some of the secretive behavior that allows such diseases to flourish. Obviously, STDs do not originate in gay men; rather, it’s the pattern of behavior.