The search for a corporate partnership has ended and the Rose Garden will be known as the Moda Center for at least the next 10 years. Nothing against Moda Health, but there are a few “More Portland” names and themes we would have preferred…
1) The Beer Garden.
The plan for going to a Blazer game with the guys usually includes spending WAY too much money on beer. So let’s call a spade a spade. Whether you are drinking Pabst or a micro brew, The Beer Garden invites everyone.
2) Gentrification Arena
Nothing would be more Portland than surrounding the Rose Garden with un-affordable housing, coffee and bagel shops. Fun!
3) Rip City Center
Statues of greats like Clyde Drexler, Bill Walton and Buck Williams would greet attendees. Highlight films would play around the clock outside. Ex-Blazer look-a-likes would blend in with the audience, available for photo-ops. The Rip City Center would be the ultimate tribute to the Blazers’ proud history.
4) Forest Park
Surround the Rose Garden with a Forest, recreating a real life version of Disney’s Adventure of the Gummi Bears. This would provide a plethora of amazing hiking opportunities and force opponents to travel through the scary wilderness before reaching the arena. Awesome!
5) Powell’s Powercenter
The world’s largest bookstore that is also a sports arena. Simple concept, watch a basketball and trade in a few books while you are there. Why has nobody thought of this?!
6) The VooDoo Donut
This would take a MASSIVE (but well deserved) redesign. The entire arena would look like a giant Loop Donut with a theme park for kids on top. Imagine sliding down a giant piece of bacon into a lake of maple frosting while you wait for the game to start.
7) The Bike
Tear down all the parking structures and make more room for bike parking. If you want to drive, plan on taking the Max to your car 10 miles away. Ride your bike to the Bike.
8) Food Cart Arena
Good bye $4 hot dog, hello Nong’s Khao Man Gat! The Rose Garden would represent Portland well by surrounding itself with local food carts. Take the North entrance if you are craving Gonzo, enter in the South for Big Ass Sandwiches.
9) Strip Center
Portland is known for Strip Clubs, and this would be the king. An adult theme park. This would require a more comfortable layout of seating, as lap dances would be readily available during the game. Also, the cost of suites just went WAY up.
10) Rose Garden
Why fix something that isn’t broken?