It’s time for a ratchet event recap.
Last Saturday the town was abuzz with talk of several events taking place. A handful of hip-hop shows brought crowds out as expected, but I’m not here to talk about that. I’ll leave that to Smitty.
The event I want to talk about actually brought Seattle down to the lovely city of roses for a little competition. Some of the best athletes from both cities took part in the I-5 Showdown: Portland vs Seattle Basketball Game.
The game packed out PCC Cascade’s gym Saturday afternoon. Walking up, the place looked more like a club with a long line of spectators trying to get in. After paying $5 each, we got stamps on our wrists and tried to find a seat, unsuccessfully. We were forced to watch from upstairs which was annoying, but allowed a great view.
Being a girl who was never really into sports, I found myself paying more attention to the off-court subtle fashion competition between PDX and SEA. And since I’m me, I thought I’d give out a few awards in the categories of my choice.
Citywide Categories
The Crayola Award
The Seattle crowd had more colors on than I’ve seen in my life. Mauve jeans, orange shirts, purple/blue/teal/tangerine/periwinkle/pink snapbacks….you name it. Matching is clearly optional up north. I’m not one for matching myself, but I at least stay in the same family of colors. One guy had on pastel, neon and earth tones all in one jacket. I should have worn my shades to protect my eyes.
The Gender-Bender Award
Just like the Civil War, the north wins again. The men’s clothes were tighter; the women’s clothes were baggier. I saw a guy with a press out and a chick with a flat top. I guess having the 2nd highest LBGT community in the nation leaves room for interpretation.
The Throw Back Award
There was a toss-up in this category. There were a lot of guys from Seattle with cornrows in their hair, but there were also a lot of guys from Portland with singles. I just need all of them to set their clocks forward a decade and let 2003 die already.
The Ratchet Award
If Portland is going to win something, its gotta be this. A look at the P-town bops may have confused the basketball game at a community college for a club party with Diddy in Miami. The mini skirts, high heels, oversized not-so-gold jewelry and thick make-up screamed “choose me.” Something about Portland girls and hoopers. Like moths to the artificial flames of an electric fireplace.
*PSA: Ladies, no matter how cute you are, wearing 6 inch heels on a basketball court makes you look like a clown.*
Individual Categories
The Turn Down For What Award
Lucky for this winner, I don’t know her name. However I can tell you she is about that life. She strutted her stuff across the gym wearing leopard print high-wasted harem pants, a black tube top that only covered her boobs, one cute sandal………and a brace on her other foot. I would have been in sweats if my foot was injured, but turning down was clearly not an option for her. Kudos.
The Young and the Ratchlet Award
There were several inappropriately dressed young bops-in-training, so this was a tough one. But I’m going to have to give it to the little girl who appeared to be about 6 years old who had a pair a booty shorts on that were so tight/short she had to stop every 4 steps to pull them out her ass. SMH Do better mom.
The Life-time Achievement Award
There is an individual from the town who deserves to be recognized for being fashion forward on a consistent basis. From leopard print button ups to sleeveless jean jackets, Cassow has a style of his own. Therefore, it wasn’t too surprising to see him in the stands wearing a shirt with a leather body and cotton sleeves. Even less surprising when he took it off at half time. Here’s to giving no f*cks.
Fashion aside, the event was great. Always nice to see familiar faces and watch ballers ball. Shout out to 503tv for the picture. I would have used more pictures, but I didn’t want to blast anyone. I know I come off as a cynical, judgemental beeyotch, but really I’m a sweetheart. *chuckles*
#OutHere