I love the Northwest, but I’m glad I’m not there right now…I hear it’s been FREEZING, literally. Meanwhile in The Bay, it’s consistently 10°F warmer than anywhere in the Northwest—I’m wearing capris and a t-shirt right now, no jacket.
For those of you in the Northwest, stay warm! Men, that does not mean wear sweatsuits, oversized anything, or ratty beanies. Gross. That means stay warm…and stay swagged out.
1. Scarfs
It’s more than acceptable for men to wear scarfs. It is douchey? A little. Is it feminine? Borderline. But should you do it? Yes. Women like a little douche; women like borderline feminine; plus, you’ll stay warm.
2. Hats
Look no further, Goorin Bros. hats are the best. Although they aren’t a NW company, their shop has become a 23rd Avenue staple.
3. Coat
Get. A. Coat. With. Fur. You heard me, fur. Men’s fur coats are so hot, Columbia Sportswear is sold out. Try THIS or THIS Northface option instead.
4. Little Hotties hand warmers
Staying warm is HOT. (Pun intended. I wish my puns were punnier.) Stock up.
5. The right colors
No matter what you’re wearing, make sure you’re wearing it in the right colors. Dark colors (black, brown, grey, and navy) are always appropriate for winter. Every winter “they,” whoever “they” are, always announce complementary winter colors as well. This winter’s complementary colors are: Every shade of orange, every hue of blue. Also in style are red pants, patterns on patterns (on patterns on patterns), and neon is still cool.
6. Military inspiration
Military-inspired gear is all the rage. This includes: Anything camo (pants, jackets, belts, hats, drawers…anything), just don’t wear a FULL camo suit. Jackets with unique buttons and broad shoulders. Tattoos. Guns.
7. Slim cut
Baggy went out in 2009. Surprise…it’s STILL out! Keep everything (pants, jackets, you know the drill…everything) slim cut. Like scarfs, douchiness™ and dressing in metro-sexual slim cut everything is in.
8. Facial Hair
No Shave November should be No Shave All Winter. November through late-February, you’re fine to grow a beard. In fact, you’re encouraged to grow a beard. Most women won’t admit it, but women love beards. (Someone, please add “tickle women in a playful and sexual way” to THIS list.)
9. Grandpa swag
Number Nine, but might as well be Number One are grandpa sweaters and sweater vests. Mix and match the sweater gear with anything above on this list, or everything above on this list…at the same damn time. Best place to find such gear? Thrift shops.
10. Other
Everything on THIS list; plus a watch, which slipped my mind this time last year.
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If this wasn’t helpful, please refer to GQ Magazine, which might have better tips, but WARNING: certainly less swag, than WOHM.