I don’t know about the rest of the world, but here in Oregon today’s the deadline to vote! Regardless of your political affiliation or lack thereof, today’s your chance to let your voice be heard in a forum that actually matters. That’s right, regardless of how many adorable pictures of The Obama Family you’ve posted on Facebook, none of it matters if you don’t actually fill out a ballot. If you’re wondering where your ballot is, it’s probably because you never registered to vote, and it’s way too late for all that. Sucks to be you. However, it might just be at your momma’s house, in which case you still might have time.

If you don’t vote, chill… you are not going to die. You probably won’t have to move to Canada either. You might get clowned in post-vote debates though and you’ll most likely maintain your 10-year streak of not physically stepping into a library. You’ll also have no right to an opinion after-the-fact and your friends will squarely blame you if one of the many things we vote for is decided by a handful of votes.

That’s right, there’s more at stake here than just the presidency; in fact, when it comes to voter impact, the presidential election is the thing your vote will have the least impact on since Oregon is already a blue state. The state and local issues are much more interesting and directly impactful to your everyday lives and these are the issues that you should be taking your time to vote on. Did you know that for $35 per person per year we can bring Art and Music classes back to public schools? Just saying…

Personally, I voted for Obama for President – not just because he’s Black – but because he’s a low-key socialist and that’s dope to me. I did not vote for Romney because he’s an asshole, and I don’t like when people are more stuck up than I am. I voted for Charlie Hales because Jefferson Smith is irresponsible. I’m also bothered that he went to Grant High yet had the name Jefferson the entire time… He also punches people in the balls and I prefer clean fights. I voted for Doc Adam to take over the East Multnomah Soil and Conservation District because that sounds hella complicated and I don’t know anyone smarter than my favorite mixologist. I voted against a casino in Wood Village because a) I don’t believe in changing the constitution for monetary reasons and b) traffic on I-84 already sucks balls.

That said, I’ve done my part. Hopefully you have too. We Out Here Magazine supports voting. We also love you. Swag on, young swag lords. #VOTE

Your local independent,

Mac Smiff

*The politics discussed in this article are the opinions of the writer and in no way represent the opinions of WOHM itself (which doesn’t have opinions because it’s an online mag and not a human being).