(I’m filling in for Silly C this week… Hope she feels better next week! -Jake)
Ahh!! Idiots are the worst, and they are everywhere.
Read this list and don’t be an idiot! 10 things idiots definitely do:
1. Ask questions with obvious answers.
“It says that Gate A is to the left, so how do I go to get to Gate A?”
Idiot.
Are you listening to yourself say the answer to the question before you ask it?
2. Not follow through.
“Yeah, I’m going to do that tomorrow.”
You should have done it yesterday, idiot. If you aren’t doing it today, it isn’t going to get done.
If you say you are going to do something, do it!
Swag.
3. Wait in line for three hours to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings.
This one is for you Salem.
There is nothing THAT special about Buffalo Wild Wings. Having a beer with friends while you eat eight different types of wings and watch five games at once sure is swell, but not at all worth a three hour wait. Not even on opening day!
Who cares if it’s opening day!
Idiot.
Unless you have a kid and Justin Bieber is in town, nothing is worth waiting in line for three hours. Especially not buffalo wings.
Lots of places sell buffalo wings and show sports games. Go somewhere that someone in your city started.
4. Say “Swag is stupid.”
Swag is awesome.
Idiot.
5. Defend the Black Eyed Peas.
It’s one thing to like their music, but it is an entirely different situation for someone to stick their neck out and defend the music of the Black Eyed Peas.
I don’t want to hear how talented Wil.I.Am is. Their music gives me a headache and Fergie is ugly (shout out to Only One).
6. Not take care of their kids.
You made a baby? Get a job and take care of it.
An added bonus to having a job is that it will keep you distracted from making more babies.
It’s hard enough surviving with an entry level position, can you imagine trying to support all of those other families your weekends are trying to trick you into?
It’s not going to happen. You are going to end up relying on the government forever.
Idiot.
7. Leave a mess.
Remember the Occupy movement?
I loved the idea of so many people uniting against the ‘Man’, but it seems like a few of them could have taken their chairs and tents with them when they left.
Not cleaning up after yourself is rude.
Take your trash with you.
8. Make openly racist, classist, sexist or homophobic references.
Other than idiots, all people are created equal. We are all out here trying to make sense of the world, and hoping to find happiness.
Treating people differently because something about them is different is pathetic.
Do something nice for someone. Don’t be an idiot.
9. Have bad hygiene.
Seriously, don’t smell bad.
I’m not claiming to be the cleanest person in the world, but washing clothes and bathing regularly will make the experience for everyone you interact with much more pleasant.
10. Tell the world about their private moments via social media.
“Herpes flaring up again. SMH.”
Nobody needs/wants to hear that shit!
We don’t care about your relationship status, good or bad.
We don’t need to know that you’ve been getting laid a lot this week.
We don’t need to know anything about your life as an idiot.
#OutHere