It is almost Super Bowl time!

This means football, awesome commercials and junk food!

We thought we’d share one of our favorite recipes with you guys.

Homemade Chicken Nuggets!


Step 1: Get chickens.

You may be able to find a local farmer who will be able to sell you a few. If you are able to, try and find genetically modified chickens; they will grow a lot faster and produce more meat.

You’ll want to build a caged area that is small enough to prevent them from moving around. If you give them room to move around, they might fall and bruise themselves. (Nobody wants bruised meet.)

Caging them in a dark area is also preferred as it will prevent the birds from fighting with each other. You may also want to use a hot blade to cut off one-half to two-thirds of the bird’s beak to discourage cannibalistic pecking, “a behavior that occurs when birds are kept in close confinement with no regard for their natural behaviors.” This is called “Debeaking” and you’ll want to do it shortly after they are born.

If you are able to get a genetically altered chicken, you may notice that they will become too heavy for their bones to support. This means they will have trouble supporting their own weight and may frequently fall over. This is normal–don’t be alarmed.

Step 2: Slaughter Chickens

Use a stun gun to render the chicken unconscious. Hang the chicken by their feet and slit their throats.

After the chicken is completely drained, dump it in boiling hot water. This will assist in the removal of the chicken’s feathers.

Step 3: Prepare Meat

Since you probably don’t have a poultry deboner, you may have to do most of this work yourself. After you have the chicken meat separated from the bone, you can turn it into ground meat by putting it in your mixer if you have a meat grinder attachment. (Don’t forget to include the connective tissue, bits of bone marrow, and chicken skin to be sure you are able to make as many nuggets as possible –just like the big boys do.)

Step 4: Add Artificial Flavor

You aren’t going to like the taste of bone marrow. You’ll need to do this.

Step 5: Cut to shape, add bread crumbs, and cook in oil

Step 6: Enjoy!