A recent topic of conversation on WOHM’s Twitter… If more men would start acting like gentlemen, maybe more women would start acting like ladies. I’m in full support of this argument. Too many facets of our modern, American culture hold men and women to double standards. There are still different rules for the different genders, but the end justifies the means, and etiquette should be a standard that we’re held to equally. So, here are 10 THINGS: Etiquette, To Impress Her—consider it Etiquette 101. Take notes if necessary, because next week will be Etiquette 102—10 THINGS: Etiquette, To Impress Anyone.
1. Don’t show up empty handed
If you’re meeting her parents for the first time, bring flowers. If you’re meeting her friends for the first time, bring a 6-pack. In the early stages of impressing a woman, you’ve got to impress those around her first. Women talk… Women are easily influenced… If you can get “them” to like you, she’ll like you too.
2. Put your phone away
We’re so connected that missing a call or a text seems like…the end of the world? Seriously? Show her that being in the moment with her is more important than being in a text conversation with your bro (who she will likely think is another female). Avoid the rudeness, avoid the “who’s that?” conversation, and put your phone away!
Just in case the date goes well, clean your place. The general rule of thumb is clean 90%, and leave 10% dirty. You don’t want to look like you tried too hard. Or maybe you didn’t try to hard, and you’re just naturally anal-retentive. You don’t want to look anal-retentive either.
4. Open doors
I cannot emphasize this enough. The front door, the restaurant door, her car door—open every single door. You’re big and tough with your 7-days-a-week guns, open the door. It takes .3 seconds to extend your arm, open the door. You want to get laid tonight, open the door.
5. In the beginning, you should do 80% and she should do 20%
This isn’t a strict rule, and I don’t mean to contradict myself with double standards. BUT… In the beginning, things should not be 50 / 50. They don’t need to be the old-fashioned 100 / 0, but somewhere around 80 / 20 is safe. Men, that means you should pay more often. That means you should offer to drive more often. You should be the one initiating conversation more often. And sleepovers should happen at your place more often. Once you’ve passed dating and moved into the Facebook Official Zone, things can be 50 / 50, but as long as you’re still impressing her, I’d stick to 80 / 20-ish.
6. There are a few hard “don’ts”
Don’t talk with food in your mouth. Don’t slurp your soup. Don’t make dick jokes. Don’t cuss. Don’t say “swag.” Don’t talk about your past relationships. And burping is okay, but don’t forget to say excuse me.
7. Listen more than you talk
Women like to talk. A lot. And a lot about themselves. Please, just let her. Call it the “only 80 / 20 scenario that’s opposite” because the more she talks about herself, the more likely she is to think the two of you have chemistry.
8. Knock on the door / walk her to her to her car
Cell phones make life easier, sure. But if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. How difficult is knocking on her front door? Is calling to say “I’m outside” that much easier? Living in an in-law, I don’t have a front door. But you’re not off the hook, gentlemen. Call to say “I’m here,” but then go one-step further by getting out of the car, hugging hello, and (you should know this by now) opening the car door. Ending the date well-mannered is equally important, be sure to walk her to her car.
9. Wash your hands
This is a good life rule. Wash your hands before and after you eat. With soap and warm water. And not just your finger tips. Sing Happy Birthday if you’re wondering for how long.
10. And most importantly, throw the mind games out the window
The best piece of advice I can give you, is to be yourself, but better. If you forget a certain piece of etiquette, let your natural charm win her over. If you don’t want to “wait three days to text her,” by all means, don’t! Just be you.
And on that etiquette-turned-sappy note, I’ll leave you with an anonymous quote… “Hate is easy, love takes courage.”