I’ve said it once, I’ll say it twice. I’m not anyone’s girlfriend—I’m more like an ex-girlfriend who gets heavily Facebook stalked and sometimes ‘late night’ texted—but if my imaginary boyfriend came to life, I know what I’d want.

1. Take her to lunch

Do you work? Do you get a lunch break? Does she? You both have to eat, right? Go on a lunch date with her! After you’ve been dating awhile, dinner and going back and forth between each other’s places becomes ingrained and can get boring. A lunch date will bring you back to the early, carefree stages of dating. Lunch is a lighter meal, as your conversation should be. It’ll be sexy to see each other in work clothes, in work mode. And of course, mid-afternoon this will give her bragging rights around the office that her “man took her on a lunch date.”

2. Meet her parents / best friend / sorority sisters

This is an age-old “taking it to the next level” for women. If she wants to introduce you to these people, you should let her. Sure, it might be awkward at first (mostly because they’ve heard the good, the bad, the ugly, and plan on judging you), but it will mean a lot to her, and mean a lot in furthering your relationship. For many women, myself included, if family or best friends don’t like the guy, the relationship will be put to a halt. So make a good impression, shower beforehand, and don’t show up empty handed.

3. Buy her flowers

Cliché? Maybe. True? Most definitely. So why haven’t you done it yet? I don’t know. ALL WOMEN LIKE FLOWERS. Any time of day, any day of the week, on any (or lack thereof) occasion, big ones, little ones, bouquets, singles, in all colors / shapes / sizes, in pots or long stemmed, you can’t go wrong. Get her flowers. NOW.

4. Open her car door

I don’t date men that don’t open my car door. (Maybe that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend?) My old man raised me to believe that a man should always open the door for a woman—any door. It is nearly 2012 and your girlfriend probably isn’t as picky as I am, so you don’t have to do it every single time, but do it once, I bet she’ll notice. And definitely do it on date nights.

5. Surprise her

I know, I know, you’re thinking she doesn’t like surprises. That’s a lie. That’s a does-this-make-me-look-fat trap. I’ve been that girlfriend, and let me tell you, deep down I’ve liked surprises the whole time. So, it only sounds trickier than it is. The surprise can be anything—it does not have to be something elaborate or expensive like a puppy (in fact, that could be a very bad surprise)—flowers, a Starbucks delivery, or dinner reservations will all do. Not only will the surprise make her day, it could make your relationship since spontaneity plays a key role in longevity.

6. Trust her on Girls Night

This does not apply to all men, although all men should read this ‘cuz I know some of you won’t admit to it… There is no need to get jealous on Girls Night (Out or In). You know what she’s talking about all Girls Night? You. You know whom she wants to text (but she can’t because her friends hid her phone)? You. You know whose place she wants to swing by after a few Lemon Drops? Yours. But do you know what could ruin the whole night? YOUR JEALOUSY. Use the Golden Rule on this one: If you want her to trust you on Bro Night, then you need to trust her on Girls Night.

7. Shave your balls

You’re a big boy, figure it out.

8. Get her a toothbrush for your place

Guys, if your girlfriend suggests doing this…RED FLAG…do not tell your buddies or your mother, lose her as quickly and quietly as possible. However, if you suggest doing this, she’ll feel special, like the only woman staying the night at your place, as if you trust her and want her to be comfortable. (Such a double-standard we have…) If she is in fact the only woman staying over, I suggest doing this sooner than later—not to suggest that she move in or anything major, but simply to boost those good feelings. If she is happy, you will be happy.

9. Give her a massage

So many wannabe receivers, not enough givers. A 10-mintue shoulder rub or until your hands get tired does not count. I’m talking about laying her down, lighting candles, turning on music, using massage oil, and massaging her back for 30+ minutes—just a massage, without expectation of something more. This is such a selfless act of putting her first, showing you appreciate her, and treating her the way she both wants and deserves.

10. Try something new

Experiencing something new together releases shared endorphins; your mind gets confused and doesn’t know if the endorphins being released are due to the new experience or your partner; you fall in love all over again. (If you don’t believe me, look it up.) Doing something new might not be your idea of fun, but it’s hers. So, grow together instead of apart. Examples of something new to try: a cooking class, a formal dance class, go hiking, take a gym class together, road trip, or…buy a Kama Sutra book.

BONUS: It should go without saying that she wants you to tell her she is “the perfect balance of cute and sexy.”