May 5, 2020 in News, Op-Eds by

Naked Bike Ride Canceled… Kinda

If you’ve ever lived through a Portland summer, you’ve probably learned at least two things: 1) Portland summers are undefeated, and 2) the freaks come out on one night in particular.

Being caught off guard during a night on the town by a parade of bicycles operated by naked (or nearly naked) riders is always a combination of disconcerting, amusing and frustrating – ever been hit by a bike with a naked man on it? – but I guess protesting the city’s indecent exposure laws that nobody enforces under the guise of promoting carbon-free travel makes it all worthwhile. If nothing else, I consider witnessing it to be a rite of passage, and those who protest too much instead of laughing and carrying on are not to be trusted.

This year, however, like everything else, the Naked Bike Ride has been shut down… kinda. The official site states that “there will be no start location or start time due to Covid-19.” However, it continues, “riders are encouraged to celebrate World Naked Bike Ride DAY — riding wherever they’d like whenever they’d like on June 27th.”

So there you have it. The World Naked Bike Ride is canceled, except that it’s not. Sounds about right for anything involving COVID-19. So, as always, watch out for drunken riders.

#STAYDISTANT

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